If They Only Knew

If They Only Knew

Sometimes I wonder what people would think if they only knew what I’m really like.

Public people have public lives that are often not very interesting. Everyone thinks it is really cool to be president of a university, to go to lots of events, and be in on lots of decisions. And I suppose it does keep boredom at a distance. What most people don’t know about me is that I actually prefer the mundane.

I am an introvert. My Myers-Briggs assessment score is close enough to the line to afford me some extroversion, but I draw energy from being alone, quiet, and contemplative. I like being with myself.

Now my wife is an extrovert. On the Myers-Briggs scale, she didn’t even score in the introvert column. She’s a 28-0 extrovert. I think mine was 16-12 introvert. So when I get home at the end of the day, having been with people and problems and in meetings and returning calls and texts, I am drained. She’s been quiet and is ready to have a conversation partner to extrovert with. I’ve spent all 12 extrovert chips at work. So I listen a lot. And try to hang in there until her extrovert gush is depleted. I am thankful that she has friends. And I encourage her to spend all the time she can with them.

And we have a phenomenal marriage. I’m boring. She’s exciting. I’m mundane. She’s magnetic. I’m slow. She’s fast. I suppose opposites attract.

Here’s what I’m looking forward to – retirement. Then I can spend all 12 extrovert chips on her every day.


  1. Doug Landphair says

    Dan, I can’t agree totally with your self assessment. You are anything but boring and mundane. As I’ve gotten to know you better I’ve come to appreciate your knowledge, skills and perspective on all sorts of topics. Besides, anyone who loves the Beach Boys and enjoys woodworking is far from boring and mundane. Which reminds me, we need to plan a time for you to visit my shop.

  2. Andy Bennett says

    Well, if we were just alike, one of us would be unnecessary. Opposites really do attract!

  3. Rose Alison says

    Love, this, Dan! Love you both just the way God made you.

  4. I’m so thankful for introverts filled with the Holy Spirit! We extroverts would totally exhaust everyone by 9:00 AM!


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